Being Black stops me from speaking my truths…
Being Black stops me from speaking my truths
For the fear of rejection or loss
Being Black stops me from being me,
always trying to fit into their nice quiet box
“He might not be the best at his job, but he’ll do”
Increased my workload and told me I had to be 100% – “Evel, you’ve got more work to do!”
For little or no praise
Staff awards, never even placed – worked me to the bone for the own ends of ways
“It’s your communication”, they say. “You intimidate…”
Being Black stops me from speaking my truths
For the fear of rejection or loss
Being Black stops me from being me,
always trying to fit into their nice quiet box
I am not angry, I am not aggressive, I am not intimidating
Now I am constantly checking myself, which has turned to self – hating
What did I do wrong and where can I go right?
All these tears of pain are blurring my sight
Being Black stops me from speaking my truths
For the fear of rejection or loss
Being Black stops me from being me,
always trying to fit into their nice quiet box
And so, I conform, to keep my job and dent my pride
I sit quietly doing my work from the side – training new recruits, slowly dying inside
They seem to like this puppy dog style
Being Black stops me from speaking my truths
For the fear of rejection or loss
Being Black stops me from being me,
always trying to fit into their nice quiet box
Words can be so powerful, words can damage mental health and cause pain
“It’s your communication…”
“You intimidate!”
” You are too direct…”
” You are confrontational!”
“I didn’t hire, because they would clash with you…”
Imagine being branded all of the above every working day!
Being Black stops me from speaking my truths
For the fear of rejection or loss
Being Black stops me from being me,
always trying to fit into their nice quiet box
– Evel Gottshal, 37
- Name: Evel Gottshalk
- Age: 37 years young
- Location: Leeds, UK
- Industry: Healthcare recruitment, singer/songwriter
- Heritage: Black Father, Mixed-race Mother (Black and White), but I identify as 100% Black
- What does being Black mean to you? To be Black means everything to me. I am proud and I am rich in knowing I, and we, come from a very strong people!
You’re just Evel to me darling, my friend ❤ all I see is a strong independent woman, with high morals. An amazing mother, good friend and hard worker xx
Very very good piece.
Should be used as a beginning discussion piece to discuss with employers, businesses & friends to enhance communication, understanding & truth.
Which in line will lead to better work production & life development of all people.
Well done Evel
Thank you Karl. It was one of those moments that I needed to get my frustrations onto paper that had been mulling and picking away at me for years, through experiences in the work place.
I agree, this could be used as a training piece in and out of the work place. Its microaggression at its finest.
Thank you for taking the time to read, I really do appreciate.
Thank you Lou!
Very few words but yet very powering, well done Evel and never change yourself 👍
Lovely piece of writing, Evel! Such truth in your words, and presented so eloquently.
You’re amazing and talented! Unbreakable..never dim your light:)
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